Pumpkin Cookies

The last few days have been cold and all the leaves are turning those bright beautiful colors. Fall is definitely here. I was thinking of different dessert ideas for our annual pumpkin carving night with our friends The Schlotthauers.....of course Jared's first comment was...."honey, you know how much I looooove your pumpkin cookies. Would you mind making those tomorrow?". I gave in and said yes. It definitely makes it feel like fall when making those yummy pumpkin cookies. The outcome was fantastic as usual (the recipe is great!), the aroma of the pumpkin and those plump chocolate chips throughout. I love fall baking!

Emotions

Somethings in life are so reachable or attainable by hard work or with money. Somethings however, aren't that easy. This is where my emotions run high. I guess I have never wanted something so bad. Everyone else in front of me has this like it is nothing, like anyone could have it. EXCEPT ME! It hurts emotionally to know that something that most people take for granted is something I am struggling with so much right now. It doesn't help that Jared brings up the subject at hand two sometimes, three times a week anymore. Doesn't he realize I am doing all I can or all I was meant to.

Emotions, every day is a different feeling. Emotions come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There are times I wish that I didn't have these emotions. But then what would it be like not to feel, to love, to hurt? What would life be like then? You know...it wouldn't be life.

Jared and I

Here are two pictures of Jared and I. One of which we are at a friends wedding. Jared was a groomsman and I simply sat in the audience while everything seemed to go wrong during the ceremony. All the audio kept having issues from the microphones not working to that loud not so nice pitch coming through the speakers when something got too close. However, it was a lovely wedding.

The next picture, yes it is a chicken atop his head. Our good friend Kevin who was with us this weekend also got one, of course his was an Elvis chicken. We were in Leavenworth for Oktoberfest. A fun German beer and sausage festival our friends go to every year. We were lucky enough to rent a house just down the street. This is generally the only time every year our big group of friends can make it to one spot. Friends from Spokane, Seattle, Bellevue and a few of us from the Tri-Cities made it. It was loads of fun and I have to admit that there was a lot of deep belly laughing. That always makes for a great weekend!

Taken Back

I feel that some people always take and take and take. I was merely taken back the other day when I have done so many things to help one person and yet they feel the need to take some more then practically slap me across the face.

When someone gives because you are having a hard time, shouldn't you say thank you? Do you keep taking more and more from that person because they have more to give?
Taking advantage of someone, friends or not, is wrong and it hurts. I guess putting friends aside...it's not my problem. I am done helping. Not that I will not be a friend, but I am done helping. It makes me sad that my attitude toward the situation has gotten this bad. Maybe a few days will tell the tale.

To See or Not to See

Jared's eyes have been an ongoing issue since we found out he has Keratoconus four years ago. For the last two years he has been fortunate to find a hard/soft contact that doesn't cause infection in his eyes due to lack of oxygen. In September, Jared went to his normal doctor for his yearly eye exam. His prescription got worse...normal deterioration, so he had to order new contacts. We said, no problem. He received them Wednesday. Thursday, when I got home a little early from work Jared said he had been dizzy all day and his right eye had been completely blurry. I took him directly to the optometrist office so the doctor could look at his eyes. Jared has developed an eye allergy and it might be from his contacts. The doc gave him a steroid and hopefully will clear things up. Only time will tell.
Jared can only wear these types of contacts. They are a soft outer edge with a hard center. This helps slow the cornea from taking a cone shape keeping his vision at a slow deterioration rate and still allows his eye to breath. The hard contacts suction to his eye not letting it breath and makes his eyes bloodshot and feel like someone is stabbing his eyeball. Without these contacts, he can barely see. I feel helpless when Jared talks about not being able to see. It breaks my heart not to feel his pain and not knowing how to tell him it will be OK. I know he is worried that one day he will wake up not to see anything. I know he is scared for that and so am I. I pray for his courage and my strength to get us through it if and when it does happen.